My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
