So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
