You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
