I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
