I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
