I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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