Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just gift wrapped bread.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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