This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
