Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(101): View more from

Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?

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(989): View more from Michigan

i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow

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(937): View more from Ohio

I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.

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(301): View more from Maryland

All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.

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(989): View more from Michigan

I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.

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(319): View more from Iowa

Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter

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(510): View more from California

Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.

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