90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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