how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize