Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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