Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
