brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
