I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
