is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
