Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
