Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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