She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm getting married
To pizza
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
