Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
