I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
two words...techno handjob
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
