he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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