why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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