check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
