I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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