oh and then you called a time out with your penis
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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