sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
