My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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