Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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