You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
