Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
