ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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