He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
