Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
