he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
