Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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