Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
