I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
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