the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize