I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I supernannyed him into submission
Please don't give away my fajitas
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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