nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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