a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
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