Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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