Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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