The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize