I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
