would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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