Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
