She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Who died my cat blue again?
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