Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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