Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
We are two peas in an std pod
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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