I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
