Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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