Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize