New invention idea: vibrating tampons
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
