New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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