He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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