erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
