I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Is it because I queefed?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
