Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
