the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
