the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
