If i come over, it means nothing
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
40s are totally the cure
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Randomize